Monday, April 25, 2011

How to Read Body Language

Body Language Signals:
• Open arms:
o Energetically open and possibly feeling vulnerable
o A good way to show you are approachable, especially when combined with open palms
• Palms up/open hands:
o Defences down
o An open heart
• Palms on chest – When a person uses open palms that occasionally touch their chest, they are signalling honesty
• Outward, upward hand movements – This conveys an open and positive message
• Folded arms:
o A defence mechanism that shows the person is not open to what is being said or done
o May mean rejection
o Physically cold
o Stubborn in their outlook
• Hands closed – A closed heart
• Doodling – Bored
• Fist:
o Anger and to be avoided
o Physically cold
o Very tense
o Defiant or triumphant when held in air
• Feet under the chair – A sign of eagerness
• Looking around:
o Wants to get away
o Thinking about something else
o Bored with situation/conversation
• Stroking chin – evaluating
• Mirroring – This is evidence of two people getting on really well.
Each person copies the other’s body language, usually subtly.
Mirroring occurs with:
o Breathing
o Gestures
o Eye movement
o Leaning towards each other at the same time
o Crossed or uncrossed legs
o Speech pattern
o Arm movement, or no arm movement
o Emotive energy such as being excited, relaxed, etc.
Note: If you practice this with somebody the key is to be subtle and not be a copycat. There is a natural rhythm to the process, which is the key.
• Yawning:
o Bored
o Tired and that may have nothing to do with the situation/conversation
• Preening – This shows someone knows they are attractive For example, flicking or stroking their hair or adjusting a collar and/or a tie.
• Ear Tugging:
o Indecision
o Possible deception
• Puffing out chest – this has nothing to do with silicone implants. Men do this when demonstrating their attraction to someone.
• Nodding – The occasional nod from a listener to a speaker is a positive message. It is an indication they are listening and are interested.
• Too much nodding – This indicates the listener has lost interest and may be bored (Probably where the saying ‘nodding off to sleep’ came from.)
• Chopping hands down – This is an aggressive act, usually used to antagonist.
• Body space – Respect for the other person’s body space is crucial in gaining their trust. Stay at least one arm’s length away from them.
• Striding briskly:
o An outward display of confidence
o Anger
• Gentle leg shaking:
o The person is mildly stimulated
o May need to go to toilet
• Vigorous leg shaking:
o Reveals apprehension and nerves
o Desperate to go to the toilet
• On toes – Eagerness
• Clears throat:
o Anxiety
o Has a cough/sore throat
o Habit
• Pretends to kick imaginary things on ground - frustration
• Open feet – reflecting and giving attention.
• Flushed cheeks:
o Indicates interest in the other person
o Embarrassment (usually temporary)
• Dilated pupils:
o Interested in someone.
o Focussed
o High on drugs
• High blink rate:
o A person who has an interest in someone will have an increased blink rate.
o Nervousness
o Assessing
o Has an eye disorder
• Backwards moving:
o Rejecting
o Escaping
• Moving away – Sometimes there is no hidden meaning.
• Slumped posture:
o Bored
o Low self-esteem/confidence
• Legs entwined – A woman who is interested in someone will often
cross and uncross her legs when seated.
• Gazing – A woman will gaze long enough for someone to notice then will quickly look away. Her mouth may open and lips slightly wet.
• Low voice – When interested in someone a woman may speak in a low voice.
• Running hand along leg – sexually interested in the other person
• Running hands along legs:
o Really sexually interested in the other person
o Getting ready to leave
• Directly facing you with open stance – The person is interested and you have their attention.
• Drumming fingers:
o Impatient
o May be a drummer
• Open mouth:
o You have said something outrageous and their jaw has dropped in shock.
o The person has tried to interrupt the conversation to get a word in, but you haven’t paused.
o May be a sign of attraction
• Tilt of hips – Sign of attraction and a good flirting tool
• Finger pointing:
o Sign of assertiveness
o Sign of aggression
• Open legs – Receptive to the other person
• Staring:
o Defiance
o Sign of aggression
• Looks you in the eyes without staring – Confident, self-assured.
• Doesn’t look you in the eyes:
o Lack of confidence
o Is being deceptive
• Standing upright – reflects inner confidence and comfort level.
• Chewing fingernails – Nerves. The person is not feeling secure. If they swallow, there may not be enough calcium in their diet.
• Quick and animated arm and hand movements – Lying
Note: Many honest, passionate people also do this.
• Darting eyes – deception.
• Shifting eyes – At the very least may be a lack of confidence or at worst it is indication of a deception. Definitely means deception when
combined with a nose rub and ‘umms’ and ‘ahhs’.
• People tend to look down and to the left when lying.
• Running fingers through hair:
o Frustration
o Preening

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